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Sred13
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Name: Stephen
Location: Georgia, United States
Birthday: 7/15/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: Reading, Chuck Palhinuk, Dean Koontz, glow sticks , Krav Maga, drinking water, break dancing, raving, Sweet tea, climbing things, hiking, camping, running
Expertise: Hand to Hand combat, DDR, Snowboarding, Knife fighting, Sneaking around in the dark, telling scary stories, Halo
Occupation: Computer Sales and Tech
Industry: PC stuff
Message: message me
AIM:  sosoii
Member Since:
10/3/2002
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| So somebody prodded me into checking out my blog again. I really did write quite a bit here, previously. Maybe a bit of catch up is in order? Hopefully I can retain the wit that previously was so ingrained in my entries.* I'll do my best.
Where am I in my life now? Well, since last update, I have slain every flea in my house. Every one. Mwahaha. For a while, I had a cup of windex next to my bed, I would tempt the fleas out with my luscious legs then pick them off, drop them in the windex and watch them die...In a way, I think an aspect of my soul died doing that. Now I can scarcely kill ants without feeling bad. Really. I had ants in my bathroom because someone (I'm not saying who it was...) left some sort of honey scrub material in there. Who scrubs with the stickiest stuff in the world?! Not this guy. I scrub with unsticky things.
Anyway. I had an army of ants patrolling my bathroom counter in a threatening manner. They were everywhere. After I got bored of blowing them ( try it ) I decided to unleash my potent insect killer. Windex. Yes, I know, My Big Fat Greek Wedding ha ha I have seen it too. The ants instantly began to stumble about in confusion, succumbing to the potent whatever that is in Windex which kills ants and cleans glass and smells like somebodies idea of potpourri. Seriously, who is in charge of creating these scents and flavors. Banana popsicle? PLEASE. This tastes like anything but a banana. A lot of our supposed fruit flavorings don't really taste like any fruit, when you think of it, just someones failed recollection of a flavor or scent.
Cherry, grape, watermelon, need I go on?
So as the ants began to die I felt bad for them! Escape! Run away! I tried putting water on them but the swooshed into the sink after that. This was a failure!
Later, I was in the basement, arranging my gym and generally beating the crap out of my punching bag for looking at me funny. I was owning it. Then something touched my foot. Like the badass that I am, I shrieked in terror and jumped onto the punching bag, in what I hoped was an intimidating gesture. Spinning around, I spotted the foot-brushing monstrosity. A Black widow. IN MY HOUSE? Hell naw.
I looked around for weaponry at my disposal. Weights? Too cumbersome. My foot? Ewww. Power drill? Hmmm...satisfying but impractical. Then I noticed the sun through the windows casting a familiar blue shadow on the ground. A happy blue shadow. One which might smell like potporri.
"Yes," I said aloud, this will do quite nicely.
* blatant self-agrandizing | | |
| This still exists?
REALLY!? | | |
| I got some spray to kill the bastards. It has Pyripoxyfen, permethrin, and n-octyl bicycloheptene dicarboximide in it, plus it smells kind of like febreeze. The warning says it will cause substantial but temporary ( ? ) eye and sinus damage. It DOES make me dizzy and smell very very...quasi-toxic. Hopefully it causes them pain.
I'm going to bed now.
If I die tonight that will be so lame.
-red
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| Thank you douchebag, who drives the semi and takes fifteen seconds to start pulling forward at the exit.
Thank you cocktease, who is talking on your cell phone and ignoring the light and costs me ANOTHER light cycle.
Thank YOU, whoever you are in the van who I have to honk at for forever to get you to pay attention.
And thank you, anonymous room mate of mine whose dog decides to drop a flea-bomb in my room.
I love small biting insects climbing on my feet every time I walk across my room.
I think I'm going crazy.
: )
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| Yesterday was my 24th birthday.
My neighbor's pit bull brutally killed my cat of 17 years while she slept in my front yard. She'd been an outdoor cat her whole life.
I buried her a few hours later with my family, friends and girlfriend present.
She was a fantastic cat, loyal, curious, personable, funny, proud and with a regal bearing rare in the feline kingdom.
 rest in peace kitten. I've taken care of you nearly my whole life. As I look down at my cereal bowl, I realize I always knew I was getting too much milk for my cereal, so I'd have some left over for you. I'm sorry girl, you didn't deserve to go out like that.
You're just another person to see me when I go to heaven. Another reason to believe. Say hello to Ninny, and Samson and Jerry for me.
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